Sunday, May 10, 2009
I have four wonderful kids. None of them live with me any longer- the two eldest on their own, and the younger girls living with their father. I don't mind- he needs them more than I do right now, I think. Full time fatherhood keeps him sober, out of trouble, and gives him a purpose he was missing when all he did was work at his job to support us all. And he's doing a pretty good job of it.
I miss being a mother on a daily basis though. I miss the fun of it, anyway. I don't really miss the incredible work of trying to keep up with them all, when my back was failing. It was incredibly tough to be a good mom when I had to grit my teeth, bear the pain, and pretend I was up for it.
I do miss the laughs, the hugs, the fun we had as a family. I miss watching them grow and learn daily. Now, I'm relelgated to the occasional weekend to try to cram everything into two days.
I'm extremely lucky in having the children I do. They are all so very unique, intelligent, happy people. It is more than gratifying- and humbling- to know I was a large part in helping them accomplish that. It sounds cliché, but they are the reason for me being here, I'm certain of it.
It may be Mother's Day, but I want to thank Alaina, Andrew, Alexandra and Sarah for giving me the title.